and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
She is in my trunk
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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