He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize