Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
