mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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