My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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