Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
