So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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