The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
