Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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