I cannot find my penis.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize