i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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