We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
