He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
