Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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