It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You took a bar mat shot.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
