It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
