No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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