He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
