while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Your penis caused this!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
