Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize