Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
its not stalking. its research.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
