I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
