i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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