Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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