R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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