Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
