You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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