community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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