whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize