She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize