Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
operation harelip BJ is a go
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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