Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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