ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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