dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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