Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
