The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
