No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
