you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
did you just send me my own nude
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize