What a fucking waste of an outfit
i barfeds in our rink
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize