kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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