forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize