I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
