Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
