Kareoke will never be a sober sport
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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