I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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