My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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