Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
