If i come over, it means nothing
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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