That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
My hand turned me down
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
