Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
