his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Four minutes until I can fart!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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