Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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