I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
