I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
