Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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