I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
