People with herpes should wear stickers.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
