but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
