Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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