What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
