We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
