I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
