Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
