Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
