if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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