He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
