My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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