He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Randomize
