she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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