On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
