The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
how drunk are you?
Several
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
